June 24th. I handed in my thesis. Three weeks of stress and insecurity ensued. I was certain I hadn’t passed. Refused to look at the finished work out of fear of finding inevitable mistakes.
July 18th. Mail. My thesis supervisor telling me that I have passed. I have passed with an 8,7 mark. I’m jumping up and down, screaming, phoning my dad, my two best friends. I’m over the moon. I don’t dare to look at the feedback. Three months later, I still haven’t. It doesn’t matter. I passed. I’m done. Graduated. Finished my Master degree in Persuasive Communication.
But now what?
After years of looking forward to finishing university and starting to use all that knowledge for practical purposes, I have to admit reality isn’t all that. Never before have so many people asked what I will do now. Whether I’ve started applying for jobs. Have a job. What do I want to do? What company do I want to work for? Will I stay based in Amsterdam? Shouldn’t I be networking more? Surely, with my degree, I should be able to find work before the end of the month? What exactly is it that I can now start doing anyway?
As a twenty-four year old graduate, all I can say is that I have no idea. I am not sure what I want – I only have some notion of what I do not want. I don’t know how long it will take me to find a job. Where I will live. What I will do. I only know that it will take some time to figure these things out. As a woman of lists and need for space, that is how I started my little discovery of the self. A few lists (what do I know, what do I like, what could I develop), and just over three weeks of me-time in Croatia. Against my own expectations, I came back a little wiser than I’d left. A little calmer. More in focus. But also less rigid.
I have spent a fair amount of time writing. Short stories and poems as a little girl. The inevitable essays in school. As part of my internship, and later jobs. It is not very surprising then, that I’ve for long toyed with the idea of my own blog. But what would I write about? Why would people want to read what I have to say? There are already so many others out there! But here I am. Finally about to give it a go. Mainly for myself, and who knows, maybe eventually for others. The first step is made. With this blog, with my post-university life, on the road of self-exploration, of shifting interests and priorities. No better time to write than in a time of change, or so it feels.
Here is to firsts. A first of hopefully many. Welcome.